


quiet

by michaelnatural (calebwidogast)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, M/M, right at the end of the s5 finale so . sam is not alive or okay-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28988511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calebwidogast/pseuds/michaelnatural
Summary: takes place right before dean and cas's convo in the impala at the end of the episode.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, except not yet its just dean being repressed
Kudos: 7





	quiet

the radio is off even though dean is speeding. he thinks maybe that’s why cas hasn’t said anything, or maybe it’s just that he’s cas.

but the radio is off, because when he had started the car to follow bobby back to his place the music reminded him of sammy. the first three tapes he had asked cas to hand him reminded him of sammy. so the radio stayed off.

now there’s just the sound of the road underneath them and cas breathing and dean holding his breath until he realizes he’s forgetting to breathe, over and over again.

he thinks about what he promised sammy and his hands tighten on the steering wheel. he doesn’t know how he’s going to live a life he isn’t sure he wants in the first place- he doesn’t know how to even approach normal right now. lisa is what he pictures when he thinks of his ‘apple pie life’, but he barely even knows her.

he thinks about how sam also asked him not to try and fix it and he snorts because that promise is already out the window- he’s already thinking about what he’s going to look into first.

cas glances over sideways at him, and studies his face for too long like he always does, then turns his eyes back to the road.

it’s so quiet, and cas is in the wrong seat. the wrong person is in the passenger seat. cas shouldn’t be in sam’s seat.

he runs his thumb across the wheel and the feel of the leather quiets his mind, just a little. he remembers to breathe again and does it, which reminds him to blink and when he does that his eyes are so dry it hurts and the road goes blurry.

his vision clears and they’re still on the road, so that’s a win in his book. he takes in the road again for a while, lets the numbness soothe him.

it’s so quiet, and he almost moves to turn on the radio before he remembers. he flexes his fingers instead. he lets his eyes twitch over instead and catches a glance of cas, his face as stony as he’s seen it in a while.

he wonders what cas is going to do now that the apocalypse is over. he’s afraid to ask, because he either sticks around or he doesn’t, and dean has mixed feelings either way. he can’t remember if he even told cas about his promise to sammy.

he wonders what would happen if he asked cas to visit. he wonders what would happen if he asked cas for a way out of the life sam asked him to live.

he sighs and it breaks the silence and cas looks over again, his eyes lingering even longer before he turns back to the road.

dean wishes he could figure angels out.


End file.
